Tech support:    What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:          A white one...
Tech support:    Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
Customer:          Your left or my left?

  ************************
Customer:            Hi, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it
says 'can’t find printer’.   I've even lifted the printer and
                                     placed it in front of the monitor,  but
the computer still says he can't find it.
  *************************

 Customer:         My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:    Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:          No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:    Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:           OK
Tech support:    Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:          Yes
Tech support:   That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

  *************************
Customer:            I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:      Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:            Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:     Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:           Five dots.

  *************************
Tech  support:   What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:          Netscape.
Tech support:    That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:          Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..

  *************************
Customer:     I have a huge problem.  A friend has placed a screen saver on
my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

  *************************
Tech support:     How may I help you?
Customer:           I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:    OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:          Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I
get the little circle around it?

  *************************

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
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Tech support:     Are you running it under windows?
Customer:            No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point.  The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
                                     and his printer is working fine.'

  ************************