How does Moses make tea ?

· How does Moses make tea?  Hebrews it.


· Venison for dinner again?  Oh deer!


· A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.


· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.


· Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.


· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.


· I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.


· They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.


· I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.


· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.


· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.


· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.


· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.


· When chemists die, they barium.


· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.


· I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.


· Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.


· I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.


· Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?


· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.


· Broken pencils are pointless.


· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.


· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.


· All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.  The police have nothing to go on.


· I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.


· Velcro - what a rip off!


· Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

Talking frog

A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'

He looked around and couldn't see anyone.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,'Pick me up.'

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.' Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, 


'Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog.'

With age comes wisdom.