Tuvya Zaretsky
President of the Lausanne Consultation on Jewish
Evangelism and
Director of staff
development with Jews for
Jesus.
Published under ˇ§Diaspora Studyˇ¨ at
www.globalmissiology.org,
October 2007
Jewish-Gentile
couples present an interesting case study for reaching families from different
religious traditions. It has humorously been said, ˇ§Jews are like everybody else,
only more so.ˇ¨ A thoughtful approach to Jewish-Gentile couples and their
families may provide valuable insights for reaching couples and families from
other mixed religious traditions as well.
What does this
remarkable opportunity for evangelistic ministry to intermarrying Jewish people
look like? What are the challenges that Jewish-Gentile couples face? What are
some practical approaches that can reach couples and their families for the
sake of the gospel?
A cross-cultural case
study has specialized terms. Jewish-Gentile partners are distinguished
by ethnic backgrounds. Their different religious traditions
add a unique cultural complexity. Let us start with the difference between ethnicity
and religion.
Ethnicity is the classification of a nation as people.
Jewish ethnicity refers to the people who came from Jewish parents going back
to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. So, ethnicity is the common connection of people
by a bloodline. It does not change except in children, through ethnically mixed
marriage.
On the other hand, religion
is a component of culture. Cultural variations are learned. Religious beliefs
can change. Therein do couples from different religions experience a key source
of tension.
Jewish-Gentile couples
are a good case study for reaching families from different religious
traditions. They are also a population that presents a wonderful missiological
opportunity since they are in the midst of transition.
Demographic studies of
Jewish people reveal surprisingly high rates of intermarriage. A 2005 study of
world Jewry estimated intermarriage rates over the last twenty-five years.1
Jews of the former Soviet Union (FSU) intermarried at a rate of eighty percent.
Jews in
Formulating an
appropriate approach for gospel ministry to Jewish-Gentile couples begins with
understanding their challenges. Social research has revealed that religious
faith is an important factor in marital stability. Without spiritual harmony,
couples face a greater threat of marital dissatisfaction and divorce. Studies
have shown that Jews who are married to Gentiles are twice as
likely to divorce than those who are married to other Jews. Spiritual
help is needed.
How do we begin to
extend Great Commission hope to Jewish-Gentile couples? Reaching Jewish people
with the gospel is typically difficult; however, it is absolutely necessary.
There is no other name by which anyone, including Jewish people, will be saved
(Acts
So what are the
challenges that Jewish-Gentile couples face? Through a qualitative research
study2, I found five key challenges:
Stereotypes
and wrong assumptions about what the other was ˇ§supposedˇ¨ to be led to
misunderstanding and poor communication. Jewish partners were unfamiliar with
the religious beliefs of their Gentile partners. And Gentiles had a difficult
time understanding Jewishness as an ethnicity as
opposed to a religion.
Jews
generally did not want to know as much about Christian religious beliefs and
practices as Gentiles, who were much more curious about beliefs and practices
of Judaism. Religious tensions impacted in-law relations and spiritual
formation for children.
It
seemed like every ritual, holiday and family gathering presented a gauntlet of
conflicting cultural choices and sacred signals. Planning a wedding ceremony
was often one of the most significant cross-cultural ordeals.
A
couple has to agree on an identity that suits them and their children. That
difficult effort is compounded when parents, in-laws and extended family bring
to bear their expectations about religion, child rearing, rituals and holiday
celebrations. A foundational marital threat was the inability of couples to
find spiritual harmony. At the same time, this may be the most fruitful entry
point for application of gospel ministry to Jewish-Gentile couples. The gospel
presents hope for reconciliation of individuals with God. From there comes a
potential harmony between marriage partners and their family members.
Obviously, this is a good approach to reach all couples from different
religious backgrounds.
Couples need to provide
answers about the ethnic heritage of the children and how to express their
religious culture as rituals and life-cycle practices. Passing culture on to
children was particularly tough when it involved two dissimilar religious
traditions.
These five challenges
give us a better appreciation for the cultural experience of Jewish-Gentile
couples and their families. They are most likely cultural universals at least
for couples in the
In
spite of Jewish reaction against the gospel, salvation in Jesus is the only
hope of reconciliation with God and eternal life. Jesus is the way, the truth
and the life for everyone, Jews and Gentiles alike
(John 14:6). If Jesus is not the Messiah for the Jewish people then neither is
he the Christ for the nations. The only hope for genuine spiritual harmony for
Jewish-Gentile couples is when each partner comes to repentance and finds
salvation in the Messiah Jesus. Below are some things to consider when being a
good witness for Christ with couples and families of different religious
traditions:
Missiologist Donald K.
Smith has said that all communication is cross-cultural. Many of the challenges
between Jewish-Gentile couples are the result of different cultural
expectations, missed signals and misperceptions. Therefore, Christians who care
to minister the gospel among Jewish-Gentile couples should train to become good
listeners and to serve as cross-cultural translators.
Before we earn the right
to speak, we need to listen and to learn the cultures of the partners from two
different religious traditions. This holistic approach to evangelism allows us
to fulfill the Great Commission while engaged in the greatest commandment, expressing
the love of Christ. We love people by listening to them and learning their
culture. In that process, we can effectively apply gospel truth in language
that matters to them.
Other Jewish-Gentile
couples who have become Christians are suited to do this. They understand the
dual culture environment and the possibility for spiritual harmony. Gentile
Christians have a wonderful capacity to learn the cultural differences of
intermarriage partners.
Community is important
to this process. Partners feel isolated from respective communities. Therefore,
churches and Messianic congregations of Jewish believers should be intentional
about reaching Jewish-Gentile couples. They should train cross-cultural
spiritual mentors to help create understanding between partners from different
traditions. Congregational mentors can help couples comprehend spiritual truth
in the midst of a welcoming community.
Missions,
like congregations, should be training workers specialized in ministry to
family units for reaching couples from different religious traditions and their
children. This can be done in small groups or by couple-to-couple mentor
relationships. I recommend three areas in focusing on ministry to family units.
a. Establish
definitions for the cross-cultural conversation. Help partners from
different religious traditions comprehend the cultural terminology of their
partner. For example, Gentiles often miss that their Jewish partner uses the
word ˇ§Christianˇ¨ as a synonym for ˇ§Gentile.ˇ¨ And many Christians assume that
the term ˇ§Jewishˇ¨ is synonymous with the religion known as ˇ§Judaism.ˇ¨ So, start
by establishing meanings for unique cultural terms for communication.
b. Provide
biblical answers for the challenges that the partners experience. Describe Godˇ¦s design
for marriage and the family (Genesis
c. Extend
gospel ministry specifically for their children. Mature couples who have
raised children of their own can provide spiritual advice about child rearing. We
need to help parents nurture spiritual formation in their children. Kidsˇ¦ Bible
clubs can communicate spiritual content along with rich ethnic traditions and
spiritual heritage. Ancient Israelite parents were told to tell the
praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power and the wonders he has done in each
generation (Psalm 78:4). The intent was to lead children to put their trust in
God.
Small
groups for couples from different religious traditions set apart within
congregations or sponsored in partnership with mission organizations are
appropriate. They help couples grapple with feelings of isolation resulting
from not fitting into any traditional religious structure. Small group
ministries for Jewish-Gentile couples give them a sense of identity and
belonging. In a safe environment, partners can explore the truth of reconciling
faith in Jesus.
We can also help
cross-cultural couples navigate the choices for symbols in various rituals,
life-cycle events and appropriate religious holidays. We see such a ministry
starting with premarital counseling for Jewish-Gentile couples. We urge them to
seek spiritual harmony before a wedding takes place. We can also provide
skillful advice about providing a wedding testimony in a culturally diverse
environment.
Appropriate religious
holiday celebrations are a wonderful way to embrace couples and their families.
In the Jewish-Gentile context, we have sponsored Passover banquets. Jewish
partners are culturally comfortable as the gospel of the Lamb of God is
introduced.
Missiologist
Paul Pierson observed that spiritual breakthroughs and renewal movements
usually begin in the margins of a society. Couples from different religious
traditions often see themselves as marginalized from traditional contexts.
However, experience with Jewish-Gentile couples convinces me that the
life-changing power of the gospel of Jesus Christ is the message that
effectively can reach them.
1. DellaPergola, Sergio, Yehezkel Dror and Shalom S. Wald. 2005. Jewish People Policy
Planning Institute Annual Assessment.
2.
Zaretsky, Tuvya. 2004. "The Challenges of Jewish-Gentile Couples: A
Pre-Evangelistic Qualitative Study." Dissertation submitted to the faculty
of Western Seminary,