Culture Clash: The challenge of Ministering to Immigrants
Damian O. Emetuche
Published in the July 2009 issue of the multi-lingual online
journal www.GlobalMissiology.org
Diaspora Studies section.
Introduction
Last week, a lady from
This is an extract
from the story of Vaster, an immigrant to the
I met Vaster in September 2002 while on a missionary assignment. She was invited by a friend to where I was teaching. I had the honor of leading her to faith in Christ and since then, it has been a great experience learning from her, listening to her, watching her struggle, complain, and confront challenges in joyous occasions and not-so joyous situations. I was privileged to host Vaster and her daughter Gold for sometime in my house and had visited her on a number of occasions. We are constantly in touch as I continue to observe her life, try to understand the issues she is dealing with, and learn some important missiological lessons from her life.
The purpose of
this article is to explore the life story of Vaster as a case study from the
anthropological, and missiological view points with the underlying motive of determining
if her case is a consequence of a culture clash; the failure of the Christian
church in ministering to a needy woman; a psychological trauma of a failed
relationship; or all of the above or even none of the above. The thesis of the
article is that a good percentage of first generation non-Westerners from
The methodology employed in this study includes: letting Vaster tell her own story through conversations on telephone, recollections of her life experiences, responses to e-mail questions, as well as my general observations. Hopefully this will provide information about her unique background as a way of understanding her problems culturally. In examining her life story, I will seek to apply lessons learned missiologically.
Background of Vaster
There are
conflicting dates on the birthday of Vaster. The official birth certificate
states
Vaster is the
third child of her parents in the family of six, three boys and three girls.
The parents of Vaster lived in a village house where the roof was made of
leaves and the floor was simply dirt. The father, Mr. Tousha, owned a small
business in the village, the only grocery store in that community. The grocery
store served the community both as a retail store as well as socialization
joint. Mr. Tousha stayed in the store from
sunrise until about
The mother of Vaster, Niaka, was always depressed. She had the responsibility of raising the children as the husband was busy at the store. However, her depression was because of an experience with a snake and her first child. Vaster recalls the experience the mother had when her first child died due to snake poisoning. She witnessed a snake bite her five-year-old daughter, and later, the child died in her arms. She was the first and only child then. She never recovered from the pain as she blamed herself for the death of her child. Consequently, she distanced herself from other children and was never close to them.[4]
Growing up was difficult for Vaster, as the family battled with poverty and survival. The children all worked in the field, took care of the animals, and somehow survived. Vaster recounts, “We never ate a dinner together, talked together as a family, or went anywhere as a family. In those days, people worried about what they could feed their children. We ate weeds, roots, plants, and fruits from trees to survive. There was no healthy food; I saw a lot of poverty, death of starving neighbors, a man selling his wife and young daughter to survive.”[5] Vaster loved her father, and has great memories of him. His greatest concern was to feed the family and provide the necessities of life. However, it was still a daunting challenge. Vaster states, “My dad made sure we had something to eat everyday. He sacrificed so much to send me to high school. My older brother had to stay home to take care of other things. My sister could not go to school, as she had to be a mom. My youngest three siblings could not finish high school for various reasons.”[6]
The brother of Vaster had an arranged marriage at the age of sixteen. The parents and neighbors had to beat him in other to force him to marry. One of Vaster’s sisters married a man who beats her every day because she did not pay him dowry. It was in this situation that vaster finished high school and moved in to live with the sister. The reason was to look for a job in order to support the family. It was difficult getting a steady job. The situation was so desperate that Vaster confesses, “I looked for work everywhere, men used me and threw me out, I had no self esteem, and could not understand why I have to suffer so much with my family.”[7]
Marriage and Coming to
Vaster lived with her sister for 13 years. The sister and her husband Kashi had two children and Vaster was taking care of them. They all lived in one room, and the whole family was struggling for survival. However, the most difficult aspect of her stay was the abuse and molestation by Kashi. Vaster recounts, “my sister’s husband destroyed me, taking away my dignity and decency. If ever I resist his advances, he would beat up my sister or would threaten to kill her. To keep my sister alive, I did what he wanted, however, he will still beat her, and when I refuse him, he would beat me too.” [8] This experience continued until one day that the sister of Vaster caught her and the husband on bed. “I lived like that for 13 years, and one day my sister caught him in bed and tried to kill herself.”[9] The sister asked Vaster to leave the house. With no food, no job, no house, Vaster narrates how she survived.
I left the house and lived from one place to another, and the dream of getting a job and providing for my family kept me alive. At the same time I lost my dad, I could not visit him for lack of fund. To lessen my younger brother’s burden, I had no other choice but to sell myself. The only way I could have a job was to satisfy any man that gives me something, and whenever another young girl comes, the man throws me out. After some time, I went back to my sister and whenever I get something, I helped her financially. This was my life for 13 years.[10]
It
was in this context that Tuba came from the
Vaster was among
the fifteen girls that Tuba met in his scout for a new bride. Vaster says, “I
did not tell him about my past, but he knew I was not a virgin. He had many
girl friends, and I thought we were a perfect match and that we should forget
the past and have a new beginning.”[12]
Vaster was eventually chosen as the new bride partly because she finished high
school. Having settled for Vaster, they had a civil marriage in the court
without the family of Vaster paying for her bride price. The new couple stayed
together for a month and Tuba returned to
Life in
Vaster was excited
with the prospect of living in
This situation led
Vaster to visit various churches, seeking help and intervention to save her
marriage. The family crisis affected little Gold in school so much that
sometimes she vomited in class, which attracted the attention of the social
workers who visited their home and advised that Vaster separate from the
husband or lose their daughter to the state. Vaster remembers, “During this
time, I was attending a Bible study class in a church. I told them that I was
separating from my husband, cried out my lungs. I waited at home for a single
phone call from at least one person, but nobody called. We separated for two months, with the
hope that things could change, but after the two months of waiting, nothing
changed, we divorced after ten years of marriage.”[17] The husband decided to relocate to their
home country, remarried and raised a new family while Vaster and Gold remained
in
Cultural Themes
Sense of Community
As Vaster was
facing family crisis and challenges, she turned to the churches with the hope that
through their ministry, love and concern, she would receive respite, and
possible reconciliation with the husband but she encountered church members who
seemed distant, uninterested, and afraid to get involved in what many
considered private issues. For
instance, during the ordeal of separation from the husband and the difficulties
Gold was experiencing in school, Vaster writes, “all alone with a sick child,
who wished I was dead so that she could die on my side, I wished God could take
her so that I could end my life too. We waited and desired for somebody to talk
to and share my burden with, but there was none, no one to give an encouraging
word either to me or to my daughter from the school to the church.”[18]
Further more, Vaster asserts, “With my 20 years experience in
Sense of Privacy, Space, and Time
Vaster recounts numerous instances she desired help, time, or service from Christians of her church but was not assisted. She says, “When my internet was not working, I requested that a guy in the church come have a look at it, his response was that I will pay $40 .00. This is my biggest shock; I was born and raised dirt poor, but had sent more than $30, 000. 00 to relatives, for nephews’ and nieces’ education, but I am surprised that here you can not render a simple help to a poor woman.”[20] Vaster continues, “A child who lives away from the parents cannot visit the parents without permission. I heard a famous judge say, ‘her grown up children came visiting without calling her first, that she did not open door for them because they did not respect her privacy.’”[21] Again, she asserts, “These people cannot have a two minute conversation with another human being. Marcus, who attends the church with me and works in the same office for six years never said more than hello.”[22]
Expectations
Vaster regrets and
laments the seemingly lack of concern from the Christians she associated with.
Her expectation was that the Christians would be there for her, share in her joys
and sorrows and do things without being asked to or being paid first. It was
frustrating for her, as she compares her background with the American society.
She declares, “Divorce, single mother, and baby sitter, were all new words I
heard for the first time after coming here. No neighbors ever did anything
without charging money. I was surprised to notice that some people placed
garbage bag of an elderly neighbor in the driveway and charge 50 cents for 30
seconds of work. To tell you the truth, I was in complete shock with those
experiences.” [23] To
underscore her expectation from the body of Christians, she reiterates, “I did
not have any one from another country other than people in the church. One
particular church pastor after listening to me said, ‘why are you making such a
big deal, there are so many single mothers out there.’ Another one said, count
your blessings for coming to
Vaster narrates
that she comes from a country where 85 percent of the population are
non-Christians, but according to her, everyone cares, loves, and participates
in the affairs of others, but in America, “A pastor’s daughter I work with told
me that ‘love one another’ means respecting each other’s beliefs and customs.
People seem to have no clue of what love means. Hindus come and they do things
for you without you asking. So I did not get it when Christians say Jesus paid
the price, therefore, they can not help others.”[25]
In a letter to her former pastor, Vaster writes, “I told 500 Christians to talk
to a lonely child, but no one cared, since you preach Jesus paid the price, I
am not going to church either. He paid for that too, according to your
preaching.”[26] In the
same mail, Vaster compares the attitude of the pastor with an old Asian lady
who serves in the hospital where she was admitted for nervous breakdown. She
notes that in the hospital, there was a nursing aid, about 60 years old from
Beyond the Complaints: Understanding the conflicting Worldviews
Paul Hiebert, R. Daniel Shaw, and Tite Tienou argue, “The highest levels of abstraction and belief systems are reflected in worldviews. Worldviews are the most encompassing frameworks of thought that relate belief systems to one another.”[27] According to the scholars, worldview assumptions are taken for granted, “They are largely unexamined and implicit. They are reinforced by the deepest of feelings, and anyone who challenges them challenges the very foundations of people’s lives.”[28] Glen Fisher considers culture as a “pretested design, a store of knowledge and an entire system of coping skills that has been crafted by humans who have gone before, a design that has been socially created, tested and shared and one that can be transmitted to the child. It is this design, which persists even as individuals come and go.”[29] Fisher concludes that culture makes all the difference in actions and reactions for humans.
Therefore, Gert Jan Hofstede, Paul B. Pedersen, and Geert Hofstede in the book, Exploring Culture: Exercises, Stories and Synthetic Cultures insist that the “core of intercultural awareness is learning to separate observation from interpretation.”[30] What they mean is that it is necessary to remember actions, behaviors, and responses of people when confronted with a second culture, but suspend attribution of meaning or judgment until you know enough of the culture. It will be necessary therefore to understand the cultural worldview of Vaster, in the light of the dominant North American culture and her reaction to issues and problems.
Vaster before migrating to the
1. Members of one’s ingroup (organization, extended family) are very close, whereas other, outgroup people are very distant.
2. Harmony should be maintained and direct confrontation avoided.
3. Relationships are more important than the task at hand. Much time is spent on greeting and farewell rituals.
4. Laws, rights, and opinions differ by group.
5. Trespassing leads to shame and loss of face for the entire ingroup.
6. The relationship between employer and employee is perceived in moral terms, like a family link.
7. Spoken communication uses
imprecise style. Discreet non-verbal clues, such tone and pauses, are crucial.
The speaker adapts to the listener.[31]
On the contrary, the extreme
individualism has as its core value, individual freedom, and its core
distinction is “me versus others.” In this culture as represented in the
- Honest people speak their mind.
- Low-context communication (explicit concepts) is preferred.
- The task takes precedence over relationships.
- Laws and rights are the same for all.
- Trespassing leads to guilt and loss of self-respect.
- Everyone is supposed to have a personal opinion on any topic.
- The relationship between employer and employee or between parent and child is a contract based on mutual advantage.[32]
Paul G. Hiebert in
Anthropological Reflections on
Missiological Issues, classifies the Western worldview as mechanical, and
the Indian culture, similar to that of Vaster as organic in nature. According
to Hiebert, “mechanical analogy –sees things as inanimate objects that act upon
one another like parts in a machine.”[33]
On the other hand, “organic analogy –sees things as living beings in
relationship to each other.”[34]
The truism of the cultural responses and coping mechanism can be seen in the
life of Vaster. First, in relationship to Kashi, the husband of her sister; in spite
of the repeated abuse she suffered, she refused to disclose the abuse until the
sister caught her husband with her. The same value accounts for her remaining
loyal to her abusive husband until they were forced to separate and divorce by
the social workers. She values relationships; it was a shame to divorce even in
an abusive relationship. She confesses that she never heard of the word before
coming to the
Vaster’s reaction to the apparent indifference from the church to her plight can also be seen from her worldview. She is from a communal culture; this culture, unlike the American culture, is community based. They share and help each other without expecting reward. She expected the Christians at least to show concern and share in her suffering, but for the American Christians, her problems are personal problems that need no outside involvement. It will be violating her privacy. She recounts how a Sikh young man gave her a ride of almost 300 miles without asking for money while a visit to her home from a churchman would cost her forty dollars. Another Asian lady lent her $2,000 dollars without even asking when the money would be paid back, while Christians in her church will not even give her a call.[35]
From her culture, life is to be shared; relationships are tighter and have an element of moral bidding, unlike the American culture, where relationships are contract based. Individuals guard their liberty and freedom, and privacy is highly valued. She comes from event oriented culture, which demands that “an activity be completed regardless of the length of time required, and emphasizes unscheduled participation rather than carefully structured activities.”[36] On the contrary, Mayers suggests that Americans are time oriented. “People who are time oriented express great concern about punctuality, the length of time expended, and utilization of time to its maximum potentials.”[37] This may in part account for the reluctance on the part of the pastors in giving her time or listening to her. A pastor’s wife said to her, “I hate women who come to church to give their problems to the church. They should give it to God.” Vaster comments, “I thought she might have seen me crying or something, so I left the church.”[38]
In Vaster’s story, there is always concern for politeness in the manner that people are treated, answered, and complimented. She says, “I always compliment people. I always find something nice to compliment.”[39] Furthermore, all the examples of people that have been helpful to her appear to be people of the same cultural background or similar cultural worldview. For instance, she refers to the Hispanic young man, as the one who treats her like she is his mother. The caring Asian nursing aid in the hospital, the Japanese doctor, and the Hindus and Sikhs all have one commonality; non-Western culture which is more people oriented, and seemingly appreciates and shows more concern for people. She expected much, but received less because of the difference in culture. To the American mindset, she was taking much of their time. She needs to stand and take up her responsibilities, instead of whining and demanding too much attention.
The story of Vaster is an interesting story that deserves careful missiological consideration. Whatever interpretation the story is given, it represents a case of an immigrant seeking help and acceptance from Christians. Here are a few missiological implications for the church and her ministry in the multicultural, contemporary, American society.
Missiological Implications
Rite of Passage
Rites of passage speak of transitional periods of evolving from one position to another. Paul G. Hiebert notes “Most societies have rituals making the transition of an individual or a group of individuals from one important status to another.”[40] Robert R. McCrae observes that there are four strategies for psychological acculturation, namely, integration, assimilation, separation, and marginalization. According to him, “Characteristics of both individual immigrants and host culture might affect the strategy chosen.”[41]
If this
observation is correct, it follows that the church has to seek out new
immigrants like Vaster and reorient her on the new culture. She needs to know
the behaviors, expectations, and socio-cultural differences that exist between
her culture and the host culture. It is obvious that Vaster was never prepared
for life in
Incarnational Ministry
The story of Vaster can also be viewed in other ways; a psychological case study of an abused woman, a sociological problem of poverty, or a case of a marginalized woman. From whatever perspective the study is oriented, it is clear from her perception that Christians were uncaring, unloving, and insensitive to the needs of a poor immigrant woman. Sometimes, there is the feeling that she was not needed in the church.
Missiologically, to reverse the notion that the church is culturally insensitive, uncaring, and unloving, the church may institute holistic ministry towards the poor, the marginalized, and the immigrants like Vaster by identifying with them in their suffering, pain, and joy. What Janis Hutchinson writes about the ex-cultists can also be true of the new immigrants especially those fleeing from war, discrimination, abject poverty, persecution, and abuse. “Be patient and sympathetic. Listen and talk about the cult (home country, expectations, dreams, and experiences) in an understanding, nonjudgmental way.”[43] This may involve a cultural shift in relationships, privacy and time. It may involve the church being more incarnational in methodology and even in philosophy of ministry, being all things for all people.
Challenge of Homogeneous Unit Principle
Donald A.
McGavran, the father of the modern Church Growth Movement is noted for saying,
“People like to become Christians without crossing racial, linguistic, or class
barriers.”[44] This
socio-cultural observation is not only true of the non-Christians, but it is
arguably true of the churches and their ministries. Most churches still feel
uncomfortable when people of diverse cultures different from theirs join their
church. It sometimes creates confusion, helplessness, resentment, and possible
rejection. The case of Vaster demonstrates the truism of this problem. It is
only very recently, that she is able to join a church where she is fully
accepted, loved, and cared for, after twenty years of sojourning in the
This issue of being comfortable or having affinity may be addressed missiologically by either the church adjusting to be a multicultural church, which will involve a paradigm shift culturally, or churches may have to be planted with the vision of reaching out to different ethnic nationalities. However, this methodology may reinforce the existing stereotypes.
Ethnocentrism
Geert Hofstede in
his book, Culture’s Consequences regards
ethnocentrism as an “exaggerated tendency to think the characteristics of one’s
own group or race superior to those of other groups or races.”[46]
Hofstede insists that “cultural component in all kinds of behavior is difficult
to grasp for people who have always remained embedded in the same cultural
environment; it takes a prolonged stay abroad and mixing with other nationals
there for us to recognize the numerous and often subtle differences”[47]
in behavior. Missionaries traveling abroad are often advised to be mindful of
ethnocentrism. But the nature of the world today especially in the
Therefore, missiologically, the home church today needs cross-cultural training for ministering to people like Vaster just like the old foreign missionaries. James and Lillian Breckenridge note that in the modern cosmopolitan urban centers,
The challenge facing the local church teacher is more complex than that faced by missionaries in more remote parts of the world. Rather than dealing with distinct races and cultures, contemporary church educators must communicate with many races and many cultures, all blended in a homogenous social fabric, which defies simple attempts of analysis or reduction.[49]
In order to be effective in reaching out to the lost within the immigrant communities from diverse backgrounds, the church will need to reduce or eliminate ethnocentrism and egocentrism and develop a greater awareness of the cultures of the immigrant world.
Counseling
The life of Vaster is ridden with conflicts ranging from abuse in the family to the challenge of training up her only daughter. She was abused from childhood until adulthood. She confesses to lacking self-esteem and always desired to have people compliment her or her daughter. The church may need to engage the services of a professional counselor to help victims like Vaster recover from the effects of long abusive and oppressive relationships. People like Vaster need longer periods of counseling from a sympathetic, culturally sensitive counselor that will help her come out of her grief and anger. Some of her reactions and responses are indicatives of frustration and excessive stress. John W. Berry notes, “If acculturation begins in later life (e.g. on retirement, or when older parents migrate to join their adult offspring under family reunification programs) there appears to be increased risk.”[50] Vaster was already an adult when she joined her husband. With the problem of abuse, separation, and divorce from the husband, counseling will be necessary to help her fully recover from the painful past and face the future with assurance, love and hope in Christ Jesus.
Conclusion
In exploring the life of Vaster, one is reminded of the millions of people who are migrating across national borders. As Christine D. Pohl states, it may be “in search for better life and economic opportunity, or to flee from war or toward religious freedom. Some move back and forth across borders regularly, with complex but tenuous bonds to both communities.”[51] National governments may have different ways of classifying the new immigrants, but cases like Vaster provide the church the missiological opportunities in reaching out for the lost and revitalization.
In oder to realize this, the church must have a cultural shift in both identifying herself as a resident alien, and the practicing of the biblical hospitality to the new immigrants. It could be that God is allowing the new inflow for the reason of sharing the gospel. Touching and changing a life like Vaster’s may result in a web of touching her remote community and the people in her home country.
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Published in the “diaspora study” section of the July 2009 www.GlobalMissiology.org