Tuvya Zaretsky
President of the Lausanne Consultation on Jewish
Evangelism and
Director of staff development with Jews for Jesus.
Jewish-Gentile
couples present an interesting case study for reaching families from different
religious traditions. It has humorously been said, ˇ§Jews are
like everybody else, only more so.ˇ¨ A thoughtful approach to Jewish-Gentile
couples and their families may provide valuable insights for reaching couples
and families from other mixed religious traditions as well.
What does this remarkable opportunity for evangelistic
ministry to intermarrying Jewish people look like? What are the challenges that
Jewish-Gentile couples face? What are some practical approaches that can reach
couples and their families for the sake of the gospel?
Terminology
A cross-cultural case study has specialized terms.
Jewish-Gentile partners are distinguished by ethnic backgrounds. Their
different religious traditions add a unique cultural complexity. Let us
start with the difference between ethnicity and religion.
Ethnicity is the classification of a nation as
people. Jewish ethnicity refers to the people who came from Jewish parents
going back to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. So, ethnicity is the common connection
of people by a bloodline. It does not change except in children, through
ethnically mixed marriage.
On the other hand, religion is a component of
culture. Cultural variations are learned. Religious beliefs can change. Therein
do couples from different religions experience a key source of tension.
Case Study: Jewish-Gentile Couples
Jewish-Gentile couples are a good case study for reaching
families from different religious traditions. They are also a population that
presents a wonderful missiological opportunity since they are in the midst of
transition.
Demographic studies of Jewish people reveal surprisingly
high rates of intermarriage. A 2005 study of world Jewry estimated
intermarriage rates over the last twenty-five years.1 Jews of the
former Soviet Union (FSU) intermarried at a rate of eighty percent. Jews in
Challenges
Formulating an appropriate approach for gospel ministry to
Jewish-Gentile couples begins with understanding their challenges. Social
research has revealed that religious faith is an important factor in marital
stability. Without spiritual harmony, couples face a greater threat of marital
dissatisfaction and divorce. Studies have shown that Jews who are married to
Gentiles are twice as likely to divorce than those who are married to other
Jews. Spiritual help is needed.
How do we begin to extend Great Commission hope to
Jewish-Gentile couples? Reaching Jewish people with the gospel is typically
difficult; however, it is absolutely necessary. There is no other name by which
anyone, including Jewish people, will be saved (Acts
So what are the challenges that Jewish-Gentile couples
face? Through a qualitative research study2, I found five key
challenges:
Confusion about Their Different Identities
Stereotypes and wrong assumptions about what the other was
ˇ§supposedˇ¨ to be led to misunderstanding and poor communication. Jewish
partners were unfamiliar with the religious beliefs of their Gentile partners.
And Gentiles had a difficult time understanding Jewishness as an ethnicity as
opposed to a religion.
Unbalanced Interest in Religious Differences
Jews generally did not want to know as much about
Christian religious beliefs and practices as Gentiles, who were much more
curious about beliefs and practices of Judaism. Religious tensions impacted
in-law relations and spiritual formation for children.
Disagreements about Life-Cycle Celebrations
It seemed like every ritual, holiday and family gathering
presented a gauntlet of conflicting cultural choices and sacred signals.
Planning a wedding ceremony was often one of the most significant
cross-cultural ordeals.
Differences in the Pursuit of Family Harmony
A couple has to agree on an identity that suits them and
their children. That difficult effort is compounded when parents, in-laws and
extended family bring to bear their expectations about religion, child rearing,
rituals and holiday celebrations. A foundational marital threat was the
inability of couples to find spiritual harmony. At the same time, this may be
the most fruitful entry point for application of gospel ministry to
Jewish-Gentile couples. The gospel presents hope for reconciliation of
individuals with God. From there comes a potential harmony between marriage
partners and their family members. Obviously, this is a good approach to reach
all couples from different religious backgrounds.
Diverse Ideas Regarding Spiritual Formation of Children
Couples need to provide answers about the ethnic heritage
of the children and how to express their religious culture as rituals and
life-cycle practices. Passing culture on to children was particularly tough
when it involved two dissimilar religious traditions.
These five challenges give us a better appreciation for
the cultural experience of Jewish-Gentile couples and their families. They are
most likely cultural universals at least for couples in the
Some Practical Approaches
In spite of Jewish reaction against the gospel, salvation
in Jesus is the only hope of reconciliation with God and eternal life. Jesus is
the way, the truth and the life for everyone, Jews and Gentiles alike (John
14:6). If Jesus is not the Messiah for the Jewish people then neither is he the
Christ for the nations. The only hope for genuine spiritual harmony for
Jewish-Gentile couples is when each partner comes to repentance and finds
salvation in the Messiah Jesus. Below are some things to consider when being a
good witness for Christ with couples and families of different religious
traditions:
Be a Good Listener
Missiologist Donald K. Smith has said that all
communication is cross-cultural. Many of the challenges between Jewish-Gentile
couples are the result of different cultural expectations, missed signals and
misperceptions. Therefore, Christians who care to minister the gospel among
Jewish-Gentile couples should train to become good listeners and to serve as
cross-cultural translators.
Before we earn the right to speak, we need to listen and
to learn the cultures of the partners from two different religious traditions.
This holistic approach to evangelism allows us to fulfill the Great Commission
while engaged in the greatest commandment, expressing the love of Christ. We
love people by listening to them and learning their culture. In that process,
we can effectively apply gospel truth in language that matters to them.
Include a Strong Spiritual
Other Jewish-Gentile couples who have become Christians
are suited to do this. They understand the dual culture environment and the
possibility for spiritual harmony. Gentile Christians have a wonderful capacity
to learn the cultural differences of intermarriage partners.
Community is important to this process. Partners feel
isolated from respective communities. Therefore, churches and Messianic
congregations of Jewish believers should be intentional about reaching
Jewish-Gentile couples. They should train cross-cultural spiritual mentors to
help create understanding between partners from different traditions.
Congregational mentors can help couples comprehend spiritual truth in the midst
of a welcoming community.
Have Workers Trained in Family Unit Ministry
Missions, like congregations, should be training workers
specialized in ministry to family units for reaching couples from different
religious traditions and their children. This can be done in small groups or by
couple-to-couple mentor relationships. I recommend three areas in focusing on
ministry to family units.
a. Establish definitions for the cross-cultural
conversation. Help partners from different religious traditions comprehend
the cultural terminology of their partner. For example, Gentiles often miss
that their Jewish partner uses the word ˇ§Christianˇ¨ as a synonym for ˇ§Gentile.ˇ¨
And many Christians assume that the term ˇ§Jewishˇ¨ is synonymous with the
religion known as ˇ§Judaism.ˇ¨ So, start by establishing meanings for unique
cultural terms for communication.
b. Provide biblical answers for the challenges that
the partners experience. Describe Godˇ¦s design for marriage and the family
(Genesis
c. Extend gospel ministry specifically for their
children. Mature couples who have raised children of their own can provide
spiritual advice about child rearing. We need to help parents nurture spiritual
formation in their children. Kidsˇ¦ Bible clubs can communicate spiritual
content along with rich ethnic traditions and spiritual heritage. Ancient
Israelite parents were told to tell the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his
power and the wonders he has done in each generation (Psalm 78:4). The intent
was to lead children to put their trust in God.
Include Small Group Ministry
Small groups for couples from different religious
traditions set apart within congregations or sponsored in partnership with
mission organizations are appropriate. They help couples grapple with feelings
of isolation resulting from not fitting into any traditional religious
structure. Small group ministries for Jewish-Gentile couples give them a sense
of identity and belonging. In a safe environment, partners can explore the
truth of reconciling faith in Jesus.
Develop Helpful Cultural Services
We can also help cross-cultural couples navigate the
choices for symbols in various rituals, life-cycle events and appropriate
religious holidays. We see such a ministry starting with premarital counseling
for Jewish-Gentile couples. We urge them to seek spiritual harmony before a
wedding takes place. We can also provide skillful advice about providing a
wedding testimony in a culturally diverse environment.
Appropriate religious holiday celebrations are a wonderful
way to embrace couples and their families. In the Jewish-Gentile context, we
have sponsored Passover banquets. Jewish partners are culturally comfortable as
the gospel of the Lamb of God is introduced.
Conclusion
Missiologist Paul Pierson observed that spiritual
breakthroughs and renewal movements usually begin in the margins of a society.
Couples from different religious traditions often see themselves as
marginalized from traditional contexts. However, experience with Jewish-Gentile
couples convinces me that the life-changing power of the gospel of Jesus Christ
is the message that effectively can reach them.
1. Sergio
DellaPergola, Yehezkel Dror and Shalom S. Wald, Jewish People Policy
Planning Institute Annual Assessment (
2.
Tuvya Zaretsky, "The Challenges of Jewish-Gentile Couples: A
Pre-Evangelistic Qualitative Study," Dissertation submitted to the faculty
of Western Seminary,