Not Today             

 "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." - Charles Schultz

 


 

Description: C:\Documents and Settings\Lisa Achilles\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files\Content.IE5\CLLRIZWN\MC900251102[1].wmfChurch Ladies with Typewriters

They're back—those wonderful church bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. The following items actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off – let the church help.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope, along with the deceased person you want remembered.
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.